Friday, March 6, 2009

Ownership

Zeus sent me an article yesterday about actively naming one's emotions and consciously dealing with them. The timing was perfect because I've been working on this concept for quite a while.

Buddhism has brought some valuable insights to my stubborn old brain. If I am angry with someone, who really has the problem? The simple answer is "it is MY problem". The other person might not even know that they have irritated me. Or they might not care. I must "own" the anger and then "control" it. The same applies to emotions, including jealousy, love, sadness and all others. It isn't enough to just recognize the feelings, I need to learn to take control rather than let the emotion control me. Sounds simple, eh? Not so much.

I've been working on this for a long time. Zeus and I have great talks about it. Difficult situations are much easier to handle when I can finally take the responsibility for how I am feeling and place it squarely on my own shoulders. The concept that one person cannot change another was hard to grasp but I think I'm finally getting it.


Yesterday I was at a soccer game with the Eris clan. Mr. Eris, Jr. was playing and it was one of the best games of the year even though they lost by one point to an incredible team of girls! Oops, back to the subject.. Littlest Ms. threw one of her brilliant temper tantrums, the likes of which have only been seen by those who knew me when I was three (or four, or five) (or any number you choose). Yep, I remember throwing myself on the ground and kicking my feet when I didn't get my own way. My show-stopping antics are legendary in our family and I readily admit them.

A half-century later I am learning to recognize and own my emotions. Please don't mistake that last sentence for claiming that I don't get angry. I do that often. Too often. The interesting aspect is that it is becoming much easier to control myself and just walk away when the situation calls for it instead of having a classic three-year-old temper tantrum.

I still have a long, long way to go. It's an interesting journey.

$.04

Update on Mom: She is still in the hospital due to a few complications. But she is doing well and all Malted Milk Balls are now taken care of. Hopefully she will be back at home tomorrow.

1 comment:

Me said...

This is something that EVERY person should work on their whole life.

Tell your mom that I hope she feels better soon!