We are looking forward to having guests for the holidays this week. In order to create a more relaxed and stress-free atmosphere I will post my House Rules. These rules are familiar to those who frequent our little abode but newcomers might want to memorize them.
1. Please don't disturb the dust. It has taken months for it to accumulate. I will be doing my best to remove the most visible collection places in the next few days. If you find a place that I have missed just grab a cloth and swipe over it. Don't write your name in it for the next guest to find.
2. Sleep in the bed. Yes, in the past I have had a guest who slept on top of the quilt because he didn't want to get the sheets dirty. Puhleeze, pull the quilt back and get inside the sheets. I promise they are clean. And washable. Same with towels. Use them.
3. I am not tall. If you see cobwebs hanging from light fixtures please take care of them. This is something I have tried for years to teach my tall family members but they just don't listen. The same with dust on top of the refrigerator. Come on, Mr. Eris, tell me when it is disgusting up there!
4. Speaking of the fridge, check it out when you get here. Also, check out the pantry. If there is something there that you want to eat, please help yourself. I'm trying to get back into my smaller jeans and the last thing I need is lots of leftovers to tempt me.
5. While you are here please fix the downstairs DVD player, the TV and the TV remote. They are not playing together well. Also, it would be nice if you left a detailed user's guide on how to work them when you leave.
6. Last and most important, for all those under 16, don't step over the line.
Can't wait to see you all! The jelly rings await!