Friday, August 6, 2010

The End

Divorce. It sucks. The two people involved in the failed relationship are forced to start life over. Gone is the comfortable knowledge that you are part of a team, a team that was supposed to last forever, through good times and bad.

(Settle down. Zeus and I are not getting divorced.)

The end of a friendship can sometimes be as painful as ending a marriage. Divorcing a best friend for whatever reason carries lots of risks. That best friend knows wayyyy too much because you have told BFF all your innermost secrets. Danger!

The sudden termination of a BFF leaves a huge hole for both parties involved. You wait for the phone to ring, hoping it will yet at the same time relieved that it doesn't. Gone are the long, intimate chats where thoughts, feelings and hopes are discussed.

A breakup can be sudden, loud and traumatic. Both parties know the cause and are relieved that it is over.

Sometimes a friendship has to be abandoned before it really gets off the ground. You realize that ideals, values and belief systems just simply are not meshing. A congenial parting is in order.

Other times it can be a gradual slipping away. Like a doomed marriage it begins with separation. Phone calls become less frequent and finally they just end. Holidays and birthday go unacknowledged. Names are eventually deleted from address books, cell phone contact lists and Facebook pages.

I'm not sure which method of friend-divorce is less painful. I've experienced all three. Mourning the loss and what it could have been is a part of recovery and moving on. Sigh.

Jan and I will be celebrating our 29th anniversary this month. Or is it 30?? We've been through a lot together. Tonight I am feeling grateful for her unconditional acceptance of who I am and what I believe.

Thank you, Jan.


1 comment:

bleason said...


I am working on a project that calls for prepared remarks on fractured relationships and reconciliation. I don't know how but aspects of the talk will probably work into a future blog about walking and weight loss.

A nice tribute to Jan.